Happy First Heavenly Birthday

May 1st, 2019. It is a day of mixed emotions.  You should be here with me. Maybe we would be having cake and ice cream. Maybe there would be streamers and newly gifted toys in your nursery.
I know we would be singing Happy Birthday to you. There would be one single candle to celebrate your very first year on this earth.
Instead, I am sitting here alone, finishing up editing of your special memorial video.
I was not entirely alone. Your Grammy and sister helped us get you a cake and some flowers.
Your Daddy stood by my side and held my hand as we visited your grave. We read books to you. We had the single candle; we had your cake. The only thing missing was you; our precious little Eli.
We asked our heavenly father to give you a birthday party in heaven. We thank him for watching over you as only he could.
What I want you to know is that you are a wonderful boy.
You have done so much good in our lives, and in the lives of others.
You have made Heaven so much dearer.
You have brought joy into our lives through your short life.
You have helped your father and me develop a closer relationship with each other. We have learned to lean on each other and on God, not on ourselves.
You gave us the chance to become parents.
And now you are going to be an older brother.
Little T will always know you. He will see pictures of you and he will see our love for you as equal to our love for him. He will know that each year on May 1st we will put everything aside to have a piece of cake for his older brother.
We love you so much, Eli Spencer Brown.
Happy first birthday in Heaven!